day=new Date()     //..get the date
x=day.getSeconds()    //..get the second

if(x>=0 && x<2) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than wrestling with two wet, stray dogs.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=2 && x<4) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: 31338 - better than 31337.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=4 && x<6) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: The mecca of all that is good and righteous.  Tards fear it, intelligence respects it. \'Nuff said.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=6 && x<8) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than pretending Sarah Michelle Gellar is hot.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=8 && x<10) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than pretending she likes you.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=10 && x<12) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than touching yourself... inappropriately... in class.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=12 && x<14) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than trying to convince yourself that Dundee is straight.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=14 && x<16) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than pretending you\'re in the top 10%.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=16 && x<18) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Better than candy you found on the ground. Gauranteed.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=18 && x<20) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: No CryBabies Allowed!</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=20 && x<22) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: We\'re F\'ed Up!</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=22 && x<24) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: It just works.</TITLE>')
} else
if(x>=24 && x<26) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: Best viewed while mildly intoxicated.</TITLE>')
} else //..this is the main title, all excess time should go here
if(x>=26 && x<60) {
   document.write('<TITLE>Back House Productions: We\'re the Good Guys.</TITLE>')
}